I would like to thank 2lovemylips people for my little pressie on Friday. Apart from the lip glosses that I spent hours driving everyone crazy with – ‘What about this one? Now, this one? Are my lips looking fuller? They look fuller don’t they. I knew it. Bee sting lips, I’m all over it’, they came with handy little tester sticks. Once it was pointed out to me that they weren’t pregnancy tests and were in fact to be used to confirm that my drink was unspiked and ready to drink , I decided it was time to test these bad boys.
Off for drinks. Left my drink on the table to head for the bathroom.
Me: I’M GOING TO THE BATHROOM NOW!
The Lawyer: Why are you shouting?
Me: So the bad people will know that my drink is being left unattended and will spike it.
The Lawyer: Baglett, the average age here is 90. Even if they did manage to spike your drink, they wouldn’t know what to do with you once they did it.
Me: It doesn’t help that you’re hanging around the drinks. I’ll go the bathroom and you stand in the corner.
The Lawyer: What are you doing with your fingers?
Me: Navy Seal call signs.
TL: I think you just told me you were going to steal second base.
Me: Just stand in the corner.
Ten minutes later, I walked inside to find The Lawyer had left and was in the car.
Me: So?
TL: The waitress thought you had left and took your drink. Before you ask why I didn’t stop her, it’s because the other waitress came up to me and asked me why I was lurking in the corner. I explained that you told me to stay here because you were trying to catch someone spiking your drink. She’s then called the manager because she thinks I spike drinks. The Manager didn’t believe me and since you weren’t around to corroborate my story, he asked me to leave.
Me: All this happened in ten minutes?
TL: Imagine what would have happened if you had been gone for 15?
Me: Someone would have spiked my drink.
TL: Let it go Baglett, for the love of God, let it go.